Everything Has Changed
by shawn-n-belle
Summary: "Cause all I know is we said hello and your eyes look like coming home. All I know is a simple name, everything has changed." Five years has changed everything for these five little liars. When Emily comes back to Rosewood per Alison's request—she comes carrying a secret that will alter the entire game. AU Five Years Forward


Everything Has Changed

Summary: "Cause all I know is we said hello and your eyes look like coming home. All I know is a simple name, everything has changed." Five years has changed everything for these five little liars. When Emily comes back to Rosewood per Alison's request—she comes carrying a secret that will alter the entire game. |AU Five Years Forward|

 **Rated:** Teen/Mature

 **Author's Note:** This story is somewhat cannon to what happened with the Five Years forward but with some major differences. This story is going to involve all the girls but it's mainly going to focus on Emily and Alison because they are my babies. It's been a while since I've wrote for this fandom (or any fandom) so please give all the feedback that you want. And if you're wondering about my story, _Sweet Child of Mine_ , it's going to be updated soon too!

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 **Chapter One**

" _Emily,_

 _There isn't much time, but I wanted you to see these words on paper and not on a screen. I wanted to know that you touched something that I had touched—I wanted to know that we were connected somehow. We've been through things no other friends have experienced—we understand each other better than anyone else in the world. But all that connects us to someone else—someone I love. Someone who needs me. I know you're coming back to Rosewood to speak to the court about Charlotte being released. I'm asking for five minutes with you… five minutes to explain… five minutes that can change the whole world. Emily, please. I need you._

 _All my love,_

 _Alison_

The raven-haired beauty stares at Alison's penmanship as the swirls of cursive dance across the paper. She has long ago stopped dotting the I's with hearts and she has stopped signing her name with simply the initial -A like she had once so long ago when times were innocent. This time the black ink strokes are not necessarily as flawless as they were before—instead, there are points of uneasiness, as if Alison was unsure of what to say next. There were letters and words scribbled out on the sheet where she had changed her mind and shaky lines throughout the word _love_. It is almost as if Emily can see the blonde now, chewing on her bottom lip, tapping her pen in frustration as the words simply cannot come to her. Gently, her thumb brushes across Alison's name as a deep sigh resonates somewhere inside of her, feeling her first love's frustrations and desperation come to life between those lines.

She knows that it must be hard. After all, Alison's mother had died, Jason was off traveling the world, and Kenneth—well, he's better off staying wherever he's at anyway. Charlotte… _CeCe…,_ (the complexities of the situation make Emily's head throb anyway) is the only family that she has, and she's locked away in an insane asylum with limited visitors and medication. Alison discovered that she had a big sister only to lose her in the same day because of her struggles with mental disorders. It had been the worst kind of family reunion: a secret child turned into the monster who stalked and tortured innocent people for years.

Emily knows that it must be lonely—despite everything, Alison chose to stay behind in Rosewood while the rest of her friends are scattered across the globe. So, _of course_ she would want her sister back; of course, she would want normalcy back. Yet, some things don't change no matter the time apart. After all, when Alison DiLaurentis wants something, she certainly knows how to pull at your heart strings to get it. Especially when that someone is Emily Fields. Blinking rapidly, she can feel those all too familiar tears prick within her eyes as she scans the words quickly once more—she knows _exactly_ what she's asking, and Emily knows that it is _all the things_ that she certainly cannot give.

Hell, she isn't even so sure that she is going back to Rosewood.

Not now that she's on the West Coast as far away from all the drama and death.

Not after five long years away from the hell that so desperately confined her.

Sighing in frustration, Emily sits the letter down on the countertop in her apartment's kitchen, pinching the bridge of her nose. She knows that Alison is asking for forgiveness for everything that Charles… Charlotte… _CeCe_ has done, and she knows that she's asking for her sister back. She's asking for her _family back_. Emily certainly knows what that is like: growing up spending months on end without her father, only seeing him at Christmases and other important milestones. She knows what it is like to lie her head down at night with her father overseas, and her mother somewhere in Texas waiting on his return. She knows what it is like to watch them bury one of your parents, and feel the other one slip through your grasp, practically making you an orphan already. Her heart _aches_ for Alison in the worst of ways.

But to stand before the judge and admit her forgiveness, Emily would be suggesting that she is okay with being locked inside of a dollhouse for days on end. That she is okay with having to chose between food, water, and electrocution between the three of her very best friends—the friends who had been there for all the times that Alison, herself, was not; fixing all the messes that _Alison_ had created and left behind. To give Alison _exactly_ what she wants, Emily would be stating that she has moved past being tortured for years; she's over all the murders that she has encountered; and that her heart does not still skip a beat whenever her phone alerts her of a text. It would be admitting that she didn't need years of therapy or turned to the bottom of the bottle to help her get through nights alone. It would be admitting that she's okay—except she's not.

Emily Fields is the _farthest thing_ from being _okay_.

Rubbing the crook in the back of her neck, Emily's head shoots up when she hears the apartment door bust open. Startled, Emily jumps before her dark eyes are finding a pair of all too familiar green with a sneaky smirk playing upon a pair of lips. Sighing in relief, Emily relaxes back onto the heels of her feet as the blonde plops her purse down onto the sofa before making her way into the kitchen.

"I see you got one too," Hanna points out as she pulls out the stool on the other side of bar. She grabs Emily's letter from her grasp, her eyes studying the words quickly and Emily can't help but watch her, chewing on the inside of her jaw. Even though the two of them had been out of Rosewood for over five years, sometimes it was as if they had never left it at all. When Hanna finishes, her eyes find Emily's and she lets out a deep sigh before her fingers reach across the island and lace within the dark-haired beauty's.

Hanna Marin has been Emily's _best_ friend since forever, so when Emily opened her apartment door late one night and Hanna was crying about how boys suck, she certainly did not have to think twice scooping her in her arms and promising her that tomorrow would be better. But that had been almost three years ago—before everything Emily knew began spiraling away from her. That was before the liquor bottles lined her bedroom floors, and she lost all control of herself. Hanna _stayed_ , even when everyone else _left_ , and Emily could not be more grateful for that. She stayed when it was messy, disastrous, and explosive and helped her get the help that she needed when she thought there was nothing else to be done. It was only ever supposed to be a temporary arrangement- but somewhere between the coffee, binge watching, and falling apart on each other's shoulders—it became _home_.

"What are you going to do?" Hanna asks as she squeezes Emily's fingers in reassurance. Emily only shakes her head with a hard sigh, pulling her hand away from the blonde. Instead of saying anything, however, the bartender pulls out two glasses from a cabinet above. Quietly, she grabs a bottle of wine from the fridge with one hand, and a bottle of orange juice with the other. She fills both the glasses with a quaint smile before she slides the glass of red wine towards Hanna, wrinkling her nose at the pungent smell.

"I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I opened the letter at work and almost burned it," Emily retorts with a chuckle, taking a drink of the orange juice and cringing when it burns the back of her throat. Hanna chuckles herself, making a popping sound within her mouth as she sits down the wine glass, allowing her tongue to dance across her lips to catch the remaining liquid.

"I put mine through the shredder," Hanna answers matter-of-factly, which in return receives a look from Emily. Rolling her eyes dramatically, immediately the blonde thrusts her hands out of in front of her in defense, "Hey, I have no intentions on helping out a psycho who locked me and my friends in a freakin' underground dollhouse and tried to play house with us because her poor Mommy didn't love her enough." At this, Hanna shrugs her shoulders before she takes another long swig of the red wine. Emily watches her with a defeated sigh, her eyes once again glancing over the written letter. Hanna watches her for a long moment, before she slaps her hand atop of her tanned best friend's.

"Emily, stop." Hanna demands, hardening her jaw. Emily almost shrinks at the very sight of it—for all the time that she has known the blonde, she can only count on one hand the amount of times that she has seen her be aggressive. Yet, sitting her before her, there's something different in the specks of emerald that are staring back at her—something protective, defensive, and _loving_.

"Stop what?" She asks softly and Hanna points to the letter with a grunt.

"Stop _this_. Stop rationalizing. It's been five long ass years since Alison DiLaurentis even spoke to _any_ of us and now, the only time that she is going to is because she wants something from us? She hasn't changed a damn bit from the old Ali we knew in high school. She writes us letters and she wants us to drop our whole lives to do her a favor just because she wants something _really_ bad? Thanks, but no thanks. I got out of that hell a _long_ time ago and so did you," Hanna groans in frustration, using her free hand to swirl her wine around in her glass. Emily nods her head quietly, staring down at the pair of converses on her feet. She's twenty-four years old now, but there's something about these moments that make her feel very much like the fourteen-year-old who was stealing kisses in the library over Charles Dickens.

"It's just not that easy. It's just…. It's complicated and I—"

"No, it _is_ that easy!" Hanna snaps, jumping from the stool as she edges the corner to where her friend stands, "it _is_ that easy until you come in with your big fat heart and try to make things harder than they need to be. You're a good person, Emily, so stop letting Alison use that against you." The blonde sighs, placing her hand upon Emily's forearm ever so slightly. It's a small moment—one of love and reassurance, but it is on that nearly breaks all the strength that the raven-haired woman had been mustering up since she got the letter. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Emily turns her head away to keep the tears from spilling and when Hanna hears her take a sharp inhale, she gives her another soft, reassuring squeeze.

"I just…. I know what it's like to lose your parent and then you turn around and you're all alone. You don't have any family, and nothing makes sense anymore. I know what it's like to have nobody and I just..." but before she can finish, she feels Hanna hastily withdraw her hand and she's snapping.

"Yeah? And _whose_ fault is that, Emily? _We_ tried. You were the one who shut us out. Not us! So, don't sit here and throw yourself a damn pity party about how you had nobody and that's why you failed out of Pepperdine because that's a pile of bullshit and you know it. You were alone because you _chose_ to be. It's a hell of a lot different than Ali who is alone because her family is psycho!" Hanna snaps harshly and there's something inside of Emily that just… _cracks_ beyond repair. Instantly, her eyes are welling up with tears and she can taste the blood in her mouth from the giant hole that she has bit within her cheek. Almost as quick as the words tumble out of Hanna's mouth, she realizes what she has done and with wide eyes, she takes a long step towards Emily, who only steps away.

"Shit, Em. I'm so sorry. I…. maybe I need to be cut off," She sits down the empty wine glass on the counter, but Emily only shakes her head, a watery chuckle escaping from her lips.

"Don't apologize for telling the truth, Han. _You're right_. I'm the one who screwed up my life and now I'm paying the consequences. Is that what you wanted to hear? _I_ am the one who screwed up college. _I_ am the tone who screwed up my life because my Dad died. I'm the one who had problems and I'm the one who had to do…." She swallows with a shake of her head, "well, you know _why_ I did it—not that it makes it any better. I just…. I don't want anyone else to have to go through what I went through." At this, Hanna nods before she jumps up on the counter, putting herself nearly face to face with her best friend. Quietly, and without warning, she gently cups Emily's face within one of her palms, using her thumb to wipe away her friend's stray tears.

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch. You _know_ I understand," Hanna sighs, tapping Emily's nose with her thumb and Emily smiles softly with a sniffle, "but just because I understand doesn't mean I like the idea of you going back there to help a deranged murderer just because Alison asked you to. You have to stop putting turning your life upside down because of her." Emily can see the concern in her eyes and she almost hates herself for putting Hanna back into the same position that they had once been in before. After all, it was always Hanna who held her when she cried at night over Alison, and all the girls like her. She is sure that the blonde's heart ached just as much as hers did when she saw her standing on her doorstep that night crying over Caleb.

"Yeah, says the girl who left Europe because she decided she didn't want to get married anymore." Emily quips with the sneakiest of smirks. It's playful, and just like that the hostility of the situation has all but dispersed—just like it always had between the two of them. Hanna rolls her eyes, a beaming grin playing on her lips before she carefully shoves Emily's shoulder backwards.

"Tomato, tomahto. At least my ex's….my friend with benefits…. My… oh whatever you two were' s… _sister_ didn't try to…oh I don't know… _kill_ us." Hanna retorts with a raise of her eyebrow and a playful chuckle. Emily shakes her head as she grabs her orange juice, taking another long swig and wishing the burn in the back of her throat was caused by something else. But she's _recovered_ … or at least, that's what she keeps telling herself.

"Hanna, you know that's not Alison's fault." Defends Emily and Hanna shrugs her shoulders.

"I didn't say it was, did I? I'm just saying that we all know what CeCe is capable of and _some_ of us can't just forget that because a certain someone batted her pretty blue eyes at us and said please," She huffs before jumping off the counter and grabbing the bottle of wine that sat next to the sink. Emily huffs out in frustration before she grabs the letter in her hands, her thumbs running over Alison's name once more. Sometimes, it is like Rosewood happened a million years ago, and other times she's right back in Alison's bed that night, stealing kisses and tangling their bodies together. Hanna studies her for a minute, swallowing a large amount of the wine before she approaches her softly, cradling the glass in her hand.

"Emily, let me ask you something and forgive me for sounding like an ass but Spencer always said bluntness was my strong suit anyway," The blonde quips and Emily chuckles softly with a nod, "let's say that you fly back to Rosewood and you talk to the judge—because you're going to be the only one of us under this spell. Let's say the judge agrees with you and Alison and releases CeCe. Ali gets her sister back and Emily's the hero yet again. What do you _really_ think is going to happen? Are you and Alison just supposed to fall back in love with each other and live happily ever after? What—is Pip going to get Estella in the end? _Really_? After five years, you think Alison's just going to… what? Forget? And you're supposed to forget about all of this?" Hanna gestures to the apartment around them and Emily's eyes are darting around the room to find anything to look at other than the pair of disappointing emerald.

"All I'm saying is that I'm _really_ tired of seeing Alison DiLaurentis _stomp_ all over your heart every single time that you're around her. You deserve better, and I'm sorry that I had to be the one who said it."

"What like you?" quips Emily with a playful smirk.

"Uh no. I like penis too much. But when I change my mind, you'll be the first to know." Hanna winks with a playful chuckle and Emily shakes her head softly. Quickly, her eyes glance down at the paper once more, the words staring out at her like a cry for help: _"Emily, I need you", "All my love"_. She swears there are pterodactyls dancing inside of her stomach and there's a thickness in her throat that she can't tell if it's going to be a laugh or a cry. For five years, Alison DiLaurentis had haunted her every thought and suddenly, here she is right before her. Sighing softly, Emily shakes her head softly, her freehand coming up to twirl her father's dog tags that hang from around her neck before she looks at Hanna who is studying her carefully.

"I know that Alison and I have this weird… history and I know that we have always been complicated—"

"Complicated doesn't even begin to cover it. It has been like watching some lesbian teenage drama but with some dead bodies thrown in." Hanna interrupts and Emily's narrowing eyes shut her up in disapproval. The raven-haired beauty's fingers trace her father's name engraved in the metal and suddenly there are tears in her eyes.

"When my Dad died—" Emily's voice breaks and Hanna is quick to react with compassionate eyes and a soft step forward, which Emily denies with a shake of her head.

"When my Dad died… I used to pray every single night that he would come back. I'm not religious, Han. I know that I get all excited about Christmas but honestly, I'm not even sure that there's anything up there because why would we have went through what we did if there was? But I _prayed_. I prayed to drown out the sound of my mother crying herself to death and the sound of my own heart breaking. I wished on the birthday candles I blew out and tried to make deals with the universe to do anything to bring him back. And I would look for him in all the crowds to hope that I would see his face and it would all be a dream, but it wasn't. I wanted my Dad back, but I couldn't have him. I wanted to see my Dad get off the plane but instead I watched them bring his body out of the hangar. And then I just didn't see the point in _living_ anymore without him," Her voice breaks and so does her ability to keep her tears from falling. Quickly, Hanna sits down her drink and gently places her hand upon Emily's shoulder.

"Em…"

"What I'm saying, Han, is that I'm not doing this because I loved Alison... I just want to help a tough situation. Because it's what _my Dad_ would want me to do. I spent so much time after he died trying to find ways to get him back and there were none because he _can't_ come back. But Alison's sister? She can. I can give somebody their family back. And after all the horrible things that I've done…. After everything… this is the one _right_ thing that I can do. And I know that it's not going to make up for everything else I've done, but it's giving someone something that nobody else can give to me," Emily sniffles, glancing over to Hanna who is busy cradling her phone in her hands, her thumbs quickly working. There is a long silence between them: filled with dark secrets and hushed whispers that nobody else knows, before Hanna looks up under long eyelashes with a sigh.

"Our flight leaves at two tomorrow. Go and pack your bags, Fields, and remember that I'm bringing twice the suitcases and going over the weight limit, so you better not do the same. I'm not paying extra for the both of us," Hannah jokes with a sneaky wink, and Emily looks at her with a wrinkled brow as if she had suddenly sprouted three heads right before her.

"What are you talking about?"

"We're going home, silly." Hanna raises an eyebrow before she grabs her glass of wine, "what? You really thought I would let you go home by yourself and miss out on all the fun? After everything we've been through? No way am I letting you face that monster all by yourself. Don't get too excited though, we're not flying like first class or anything. I might work for a fashion company but I'm not that rich yet. However, I do hear that they give us pretzels and alcohol." She winks and before she's even aware of it, there is a pair of dark arms around her, squeezing her so tightly that there's almost red wine coloring the white tile flooring beneath them. Chuckling softly, the blonde rubs her back in comfort before her friend steps out of the hug, the tears glistening in her dark eyes.

"I guess I better go throw some things in my suitcase. Don't worry, not all of us are you and have three different pairs of shoes for every outfit," Emily beams with a chuckle. She turns to walk away but not before Hanna's slender fingers are wrapping around her wrist, stopping her. When she turns, the blonde has put down the wine glass and there's a certain seriousness that is etched upon her face that Emily recognizes all to well with what happened in the Doll House.

"Does she know?" It's short and simple but it nearly knocks all the air out of Emily. Stumbling backwards, her eyes study Hanna's face for a sense of humor, but she is met with that all too familiar seriousness and suddenly, she finds it so very hard to breathe.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Did you…. Did you _tell_ her? Did Jason? Does she _know_ , Emily?" Hanna's eyes are searching her own and the former swimmer swears that she is going to pass out. Blinking rapidly, she tries to focus in on her blonde best friend as the world darkens around her. Swallowing hard, she pulls her hand away from the grasp and takes a step away from the situation. It's the elephant in the room, and the bigger and pinker it gets, the harder it becomes to ignore it. Her tongue is practically doing tricks inside of her mouth before she steadies herself enough to formulate an answer.

"No. I haven't spoken to her since the last time. And Jason and I have an agreement. I haven't…. I haven't told her. And I haven't told the girls. I'm just going there to give the judge my thoughts, and then I'm coming back home. I have a job and a life _here._ She doesn't _need_ to know. So, if you even care about me at all, then you won't say anything to her." Emily warns, her eyes darkening at the statement. There's a hostility in her voice that Hanna has only heard once before mixed with alcohol and desperation. Sighing deeply, the blonde nods her head as her hair comes forward to frame her distinct jawline just carefully. With teeth perched on her bottom lip, she studies Emily's long face for a moment before she allows a playful smile to tug at the edges of her lips.

"Don't worry about packing. We're going to have to go shopping before we leave and get you some clothes because you're starting to…" Hanna stops herself when Emily glances down nervously and she can't help but swallow the scream of frustration that settles in the back of her throat, "you know that you can't keep this from them forever, Emily."

"Watch me."

"All I'm saying is that you _owe_ me for being a really great friend and that A taught me how to think on my feet. Because you _know_ people are going to pick up on the fact that there's no alcohol in your drink when it comes to drinks at the Radley. And, you seem to forget that you have a weird food thing going on right now too. Like, last week Pepperoni freaked you out and made you sick…. Who knows what it will be tomorrow? And don't you think people at the Brew are going to be a _little_ perceptive when you aren't ordering your typical coffee? I'll cover you for as long as I can, you know that. But I'm just saying that if Alison finds out…"

"Yeah, well, she's not going to find out, if you can keep your blabber mouth shut!" Emily snaps and Hanna lets out a shaky breath before she nods her head, holding her hands out in front of her as if to motion defeat. At this, the former swimmer groans, running her fingers through her hair before a pained pair of russet eyes find a warm pair of emerald, "Hanna, she…. She _can't_ know. About _any_ of it. Please?" There's a hiccup of a cry in her voice and something inside of the blonde twists in all the worst ways. Nodding softly, Hanna gently places her hand on Emily's stomach before she pulls her into a hug.

"Anything for you, _dearest_ ," Hanna thickens, and Emily snorts a laugh as she steps out of the hug. The blonde cups her face for a moment with a wrinkle of her nose before she lets go, "seriously though. I'm going to go pack. And I'm taking _that_ bottle of wine with me because if I'm packing for Rosewood, then I should be intoxicated while I do it!" She hiccups with a beaming grin, revealing her soft dimples just slightly. Emily shakes her head with a laugh as she watches her best friend bounce down the hallway and into her room before she takes a seat on the sofa.

Gently, she takes her phone out of her back pocket and quickly unlocks it. She scrolls through the messages from the girls, her Mom, and her boss before she finds an all too familiar name. There's a picture attached from their last day in Rosewood and Emily almost can't breathe at the blueness in her eyes. Softly, her other hand comes forward and rests onto her stomach, her thumb absently rubbing circles against her slightly growing skin. Her thumb hovers over the letters but Emily's too busy counting the colors in her eyes and remembering what her skin felt like against hers in the middle of the night. Before she's even aware of it, she's pressing send and her heart is in her throat.

It's been five years.

And yet, the reply is almost instantaneous.

 _ **I'll be in Rosewood tomorrow.**_

 _ **Can't wait to see you, Emily. Xoxo**_

It's been five years.

Everything has changed.

Emily does not know what she's searching for, or what resolution she is hoping to succeed. She knows that giving Charlotte back to Alison wouldn't fix everything that she's done. It won't take back the past five years of her life; it won't save her mother the heartache, or her GPA tumbling downwards; it won't bring the money back, or the bad decisions; it won't save her liver or bring back all those strained relationships that she destroyed.

It won't fix _anything._

But maybe, just maybe, Emily hopes as she closes her eyes, it could be a start.


End file.
